Riding the Tsunami, Finding the Joy
It seems that it's time to share-- perhaps, some would say it's past time. In my own life, in the world. Yet, I've been discovering more and more that everything happens right on time. And as Byron Katie states, "No mistake.". This holds true for me, for you, for anyone who has felt or is beginning to feel that inner spark of something else is possible.
Recently, I've learned that I come more alive when I connect with people and share my thoughts, insights, experience, whatever it is that I have to share that feels true. There's always been a sense of this. It's been a journey to come to this place of actually being ready to put myself out there... to be vulnerable, both in terms of being seen and expressing my sense of things, which has often been at odds with how most other people experience life. And as a result, I felt misunderstood, misperceived, alone and disconnected, leading to years of self-doubt, questioning, and looking for external validation rather than inner trust.
Learning what it means to walk in the world, or exist in the world as a highly sensitive, empathic person, often has quite a learning curve. And my default setting has been to retreat, go into defense mode, and take time away from people to recover.
I've learned to receive support from the universe in many forms while allowing my experience fully. To monitor my experience and keep my energy strong and emotions separate from the continuous deluge of energies and emotions in which we swim. Or which seem to come at us like a tsunami. Yes- this last year in particular. Just when I thought I had learned to have healthier boundaries and stand firm in my own experience. BAM! Covid tsunami. Wave after wave, after wave, came crashing down. And I went crashing with it, sometimes for days.
Maybe you can relate. I think this will be underscored for more and more people as we move into this not quite post-pandemic life. As we reemerge from stay-at-home and Covid-related precautions, many more people have a greater awareness of the immense energies at play. They seek to find their place in it all AND experience more joy while bringing more of that joy to the world in some way. So as to not get towed under by the collective grief, anger, fear. Or simply by the preferences, perspectives, and emotions of those immediately in their lives.
I'm feeling, for myself, that it's time to engage. I feel stronger. I feel lighter. I feel even more connected to the potential and possibility of each moment. Beyond that, I feel the strength and integrity of my energy and intuition, which had been compromised for much of my life. And, I am now finding the converse of my experience to be true. I feel more depleted, drained, and overwhelmed when I don't share. When I don't paint. When I don't engage in conversations or support someone through sharing the intuitive insights and information that has come through. When I don't communicate my truth in some way. When I don't do what I am here to do and honor my unique expression in the world.
Don't get me wrong. I thought for a long time that I was clear. Only to discover the layers upon layers obscuring my truth and purpose. It's a process, a journey, continuous learning that will never end. The difference now is that I no longer feel as though I carry all the suffering of the world on my shoulders, uphill in the most treacherous, stormy terrain with an avalanche bearing down, getting pummelled by wind and hail, with no food or water. Now, it's beginning to feel like setting off on an exciting adventure, the wind in my sails, and the sun shining down, smooth seas ahead, with the awareness that I don't have to weather any storm alone, and I have the capacity to do so.
Quite a different experience! And the only shift that happened and that I need to pay attention to is what's going on within my experience and take charge of that.
Just imagine, as each of us finds our way to this! Shedding all the layers that have weighed us down. From our story, others' stories, the happenings in the world, the happenings in the lives of people close to us or our family lineage, or even the energies with which we came into this world. Some people say past lives, karma; there are many ways to talk about it. But it's actually all the aspects that we have the opportunity to cleanse and release so that we can fully be who we are in the world, enjoying ourselves and spreading that joy in doing so— creating seeming external transformation from within ourselves.
The time is always now. So why not join me in riding the wave of joy and sunshine? It's always there, even when we get caught in the undertow of life. Ready to buoy us up in each and every moment.
Let's play in the surf!